Singing Patriarchy: A Gendered Lens on Punjabi Folk Songs
Folk songs are at the heart of any culture. They are a form of oral history passed down through generations by elders with love and affection. Sung at cultural and social festivals, these songs reflect cultural values and traditions. The subjects of folk songs are diverse, including love, betrayal, respect, and familial ties. However, there is one subject that often goes unnoticed: patriarchy. This article explores Tappay for analysis—a type of Punjabi folk song traditionally sung at weddings. These tappay remind the bride and groom of their duties towards each other, family, and society.
Punjabi tappay present a dual narrative. While some reinforce patriarchal structures, others challenge societal expectations and redefine gender roles. This can be seen in almost all famous Punjabi tappay, such as “Kala Doriya,” which has been recreated a number of times. This tappa is about a woman’s life at her in-laws’ home and it creates a rather dismal picture of her relationship with them. There are verses like “Chota Devra Papi Nal Lariya Oye” and “Main Soray Ni Jana Sas Bur Bur Kardi Ae,” which sort of romanticize the domestic struggles of women in a lighthearted and humorous way, showing them as a natural and inevitable outcome of marriage. In another couplet of this tappa, “Maavan Laad Lada Dhiyaan Nun Vigadan Ni, Ke Sassa De De Matta Umar Nu Sawaran Ni,” it is portrayed that mothers show too much affection and love to their daughters, which spoils them, and it is actually the curses of their mothers-in-law that ultimately refine their lives.
In another famous tappa, “Suhe Ve Cheere Waleya,” the kind of devotion a wife should have for her husband is conveyed to the “bride-to-be” by the words “Maa Piya Ne Chun Lia Sathi Tenu Mera, Jindri Tun Piyara Hun Pyar Mainu Tera, Rakh Qadman De Naal, Main Parein Paindi Aan,” indicating that a wife is now completely dependent on her husband (chosen by the parents, of course), and the love and loyalty of her husband is something to be earned through sheer submission.
Similarly, you must have heard “Chitta Kukar” sung by teary-eyed mothers to the beat of the dholak for the bride. The couplet “Heera Lakh Sawa Lakh Da Aey, Deehiyan Waliyan Da Rab Izzatan Rakhda Aey” is seemingly harmless but carries questionable meanings. It is loosely translated as “God protects the honor of those who have daughters,” but if you dwell deeper on these words, you will realize how subtly patriarchy seeps into and takes root in culture over time, conditioning society into believing that the actions of women translate into this social illusion called ‘honor’ that needs to be protected at all costs.
Though women have preserved these songs over the years and have been the agents of transmission from generation to generation, it is depressing to see that they do not realize the silent consequences of these songs. They unknowingly internalize patriarchy and misogyny with every clap and snap of fingers, solidifying the existing societal norms that make the lives of women a living nightmare, forcing them to walk on eggshells their entire lives, conforming to the norms defined by society. Moreover, tying honor to women’s lives not only limits many opportunities for them but also leads to other harsh realities such as honor killings.
Nonetheless, some of the Punjabi tappay are worth reiterating. Surprisingly, in the same tappa “Kala Doriya,” there is a stanza that goes like “Bada Sawaad Aya Achaari Mirchan Da, Bada Afsos Lagya Maahi Diyan Jhirkan Da, Saadi Gali Aa Mahiya Tenu Kutte Pawawange, Kal Wali Jhirkan Da Tainu Maza Chakhawan Ge,” which encourages women in a playful yet bold way to not tolerate domestic abuse and disrespect. It translates as: “Pickled chilies tasted great, beloved’s scolds caused deep sorrow; come to our street, beloved, we will set dogs at you, we will make you pay for your yesterday’s scolds.” In another Punjabi tappa, it is rightfully conveyed to girls to not tolerate the arrogance of men by the couplet “Ambarsary De Papar Vy Main Khandi Na, Tu Karein Je Akar Te Main Sehndi Na,” translating as: “I do not eat Ambarsary’s snacks, and if you show arrogance, I will not tolerate it.”
Faiza Hussain and Sarwet Rasul researched “Sarcasm, Humor, and Exaggeration in Punjabi Wedding Songs: Implicit Gendered Identity” in 2016. They studied a sample of thirty Punjabi tappay and concluded that language is a tool used to propagate socio-cultural norms and implicitly construct gender identities. The linguistic structures such as sarcasm, humor, and exaggeration in Punjabi tappay are techniques through which longstanding traditional gender roles are subtly reinforced, reflecting a patriarchal mindset and positioning men as the core of women’s lives.
Folk songs are a reflection of society and its culture. They act as agents through which cultural norms are adopted and established over the years in a playful and subtle way. The Punjabi tappay discussed above has been sung by women for years, and even their modern versions have not changed much. They still echo deeply ingrained social norms. However, it is heartening to see how some Punjabi tappay disrupt patriarchal ideals through satire and humor. It is about time we sang the right songs and gave a thought to what we are passing down to our younger ones.
Rida E Haram
The writer is an MPhil student at PIDE in Islamabad.
